Chapter Fifteen
Friday morning we got up early and gathered in the entryway, waiting for Lucifer. I was texting my friend in the Human World while Mammon chatted away at me.
“The Demon Lord’s Castle isn’t as great as it seems, Drizzm,” he warned seriously.
“Dude, I’ve literally been there,” I put my phone away, “What’s so scary about it?”
“Well, I heard Barbatos has a torture room and you can hear screams of those throughout the castle.”
“Bull. Barbatos would never be so careless as to let screams out.”
“Wha? Why is that what ya took from that? Well, there’s a labyrinth that no one returns from.”
I was about to call bull again when Lucifer showed up, hitting Mammon upside the head, “Shut up. Everyone get moving. I want to get there before the angels and Solomon.”
Avatar of Pride indeed. But I didn’t argue, no use to, and grabbed my bad. We of course chatted while on the way. Causing quite the ruckus. But it meant that the travel went quickly and soon enough Barbatos greeted us into the castle’s entryway. Mammon’s attitude also did a 180°. First, the castle is scary. Now, it’s ripe with treasures to pawn off. Never change Mammon. You don’t know how.
“Good morning Drizzm,” Barbatos greeted me.
“Good morning Barbatos,” I returned, “How are you? Ready for it to be noisy for the next three days?”
He smiled, amused, “The brothers certainly liven things up.”
“Ain’t that the truth. They kinda remind me of my guard.”
“You had a guard?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I wasn’t clear. I was in marching band color guard in high school. We danced and stuff with flags, rifles, and sabers.”
“Ah, yes. I’m actually familiar with them. We have marching bands as well. What did you do in your color guard?”
“Well, music is enjoyed everywhere. I was actually captain of my guard and these guys remind me of them a lot. It’s heartwarming sometimes.”
“Sometimes?”
“Both groups are idiots. I don’t mean that negatively. The guardies were indeed my idiots. They called me Papa Bear, or the Guardfather. But my favorite was swan.”
“I definitely see the resemblance,” he mused, chuckling as he went to answer the door. The other three arrived. Luke ran and hugged me immediately.
“Oh, Drizzm,” he cried, “You’re alright!”
“Of course I am,” I reassured him, “You must have seen me walk around school. How are you feeling? That must have been scary, huh?”
“Why does it sound like you’re comforting me? You almost died, you know?”
“He didn’t even touch me. So it may as well not have happened, right?”
“No! I really thought they were going to do something. They’re demons after all!”
“You know, Luke. Judging people based on something they cannot change, like being an angel, demon, or human, is very rude. It reflects more on you than those you’re talking about.”
He looked dejected, “B-but…”
“No ‘buts’. I’m not telling you to make you feel bad. I’m telling you so you can learn. In my opinion, it’s not very angelic to be racist.”
“Well… Lucifer’s so scary when he’s angry.”
“Yes, that’s true. But that’s a Lucifer problem, not a demon problem.”
“You need to let me make it up to you! You protected me when as an angel I should have protected you.”
“You don’t need to to Luke. I did as I wanted. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“But. I can make you a dessert.”
“Dessert, you say,” I may not need to be repaid, but I like dessert, “Why don’t we swap recipes?”
“You BAKE?!” His eyes glittered.
“Yeah! I love baking. I’ve loved since I was little.”
“Yay! Let’s do that! I can’t wait!”
“Well, you’ll have to wait a while longer Luke,” Diavolo finally joined us, “I’d like to start now that everyone is here.”
We gave him our full attention as he explained the retreat. Day one, today, was a tour of the castle, then dinner by Barbatos. Day two was a scavenger hunt, then dinner by Luke, and a dance afterwards. Day three was lunch by me, not that I knew because they trusted Mammon to tell me, then we all head back home.
“We also have assigned rooms,” Diavolo announced, “the room will be Beelzebub, Luke, and Levi; Mammon, Satan, and Solomon; Simeon, Asmodues, and Drizzm; finally Lucifer and I.”
“Wait,” Lucifer interrupted, “You have your own bedroom. Why are you sharing one with me?”
“Because it’s a retreat of course!” He was so genuinely excited. Very amusing that the ruler of the Devildom is such a ray of sunshine.
“Asmo,” Mammon begged, “switch rooms with me!”
“Why,” Asmo asked before realizing, looking at me, “Oh, I see. You want to share a room with Drizzm. In that case…”
Mammon got happy.
“No.”
Poor guy was inconsolable and Asmo enjoyed every second of it. We got ushered to go put our things in our rooms. I think I got a pretty good room assignment. Simeon was great and Amso was fine, just self-assured. In some aspects it feels like every sin connects to the others. I wonder if they even noticed.
“You guys have no idea how lucky you are to be sharing a room with me,” Asmo just proving my point by having outright pride greater than Lucifer, “So many people would do anything to see me in these vulnerable moments.”
I raised my eyebrow as Simeon amusedly said, “well, you were popular, even in the Celestial Realm.”
“Yeah, there must not be a single person in the world who doesn’t love me. Right, Drizzm?”
“Don’t involve me in this,” I was not ready to deal such a blow to Asmo.
“Why? Do you think there’s possibly someone out there not in love with me?”
“I’m not answering you, Asmo. Drop it.”
“Fine,” he huffed. It only took about five seconds for hims to start some other conversation gloating about his beauty. Thankfully Satan saved us by coming and getting us for the tour. I followed him to were Mammon and Solomon were discussing something.
“Whatcha doin’,” I asked.
“We’re planning on making off with some of the castle’s treasure to sell,” Mammon explained, rubbing his hands together like a cartoon villain.
“That feels like a bad idea.”
“Like you’re one to talk.”
“I’m actually after some magical items,” Solomon clarified, as if it wasn’t still stealing.
“I just want to give Lucifer a black eye,” Satan had a mischievous glint in his eye.
“Do you need to steal to give a black eye,” I asked, genuinely confused.
“Who cared about that,” Mammon interrupted loudly, “I can’t wait to see how much Grimm I get from those treasures! There’s gotta be some crazy valuable stuff!”
“Mammon,” Lucifer appeared behind him, “I expect you to come to my room later.”
Mammon immediately deflated, Solomon was disappointed, and Satan was annoyed. All is normal, I suppose. Suddenly a little black demon ball appeared.
“Hi! How’s it goin’,” he cheerfully introduced himself, “I’m Little D. No. 2, but call me No. 2!”
I waved at No. 2.
“You must be Drizzm! I’ve heard a lot about you. You’re a cutie in person! No wonder Mammon likes you. I know, I’m his counterpart after all!”
I was surprised. But Mammon about imploded.
“Whaddya talkin’ about?! Ya don’t know nothin’ about how I think,” he desperately tried to deny. Yeah I’m gonna have to have a talk with him.
“Mammon, calm down,” Lucifer ordered, annoyed. Mammon clammed up immediately.
“Not that that guys has calmed down, allow me to continue,” No. 2 began our tour. We passed by paintings and statues as No.2 told us important notes from Devildom history. He lead us to a portrait of a large, imposing demon, “Thi is the current Demon King, Diavolo’s father.”
“I last saw him at a ceremony over a thousand years ago,” Luke commented. I looked at him in shock. I knew he was older than me but over a thousand years and still a child? Do angels evolve like Pokemon?
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my father as well,” Diavolo added, “He’s been sleeping at the bottom of the Devildom for several hundred years now.”
I had so many questions but I didn’t know which ones were appropriate so I just kept quiet. Instead I looked at the details of the painting.
“I wonder why he’s sleeping,” Luke pondered aloud. Thank god.
“I don’t know. I guess he just isn’t interested in the world right now.”
“Wow, Drizzm,” No. 2 spoke up, “You’re really looking at this painting.”
“If given time I look at all art like this,” I explained, “As an artist I’m just like that.”
“Ya mean weird,” Mammon teased.
“That I am, for suresies.”
“Well let’s get a move on,” No. 2 continued to lead us through the hallways. We passed by a stairway when we heard screaming.
“Wha,” Mammon looked frightened, “A-a g-g-g-ghost?!”
Ain’t no way he’s scared of ghosts.
“I’m not a ghost,” a woman in one of the portraits protested, “Asmo you awful demon!”
“Oh, dear,” Asmo didn’t really seem all that bothered, “Who are you?”
OOF!
“Who am I?! I’m -was- the great with Helene!”
“Oh! It’s been foreverrr! How are you?”
His awareness is zero.
“I’m dead! Thanks to you, by the way! I got burned at the stake!”
“Well, of course. You were a witch. Don’t go blaming me.”
RIP.
“Well, thankfully, I still have enough power to get back at you! I hate you Asmodeus!”
She began magically vacuuming Asmo into the portrait. He grabbed onto Beel, who grabbed Levi, who grabbed Solomon, who happily grabbed Mammon, who tearfully grabbed me. This was ridiculous.
“Goddammit, Mammon, you fucking idiot,” I snapped, “What fucking USE AM I?!”
“Moral support,” he pouted at me, to try and get pity.
“Support deez nuts, you dip-!”
In the painting we went. I blacked out when going through the painting and was awoken by Solomon, “Are you alright, Drizzm?”
“About ready to kick Mammon’s ass. But, yes, otherwise fine,” I complained. Solomon laughed.
“I’m glad you’re taking this well.”
“Where are we?”
“It seems to be an underground labyrinth.”
“Well what do you know? Mammon was actually right about something. Where are the others anyways?”
“I’m not sure. When I came to it was just the two of us. However, I can summon Asmo to our location.”
“How?”
“I have a pact with him and it allows you to summon them,” He proceeded to say an incantation and Asmo appeared, who did not understand that he was in the wrong.
“Why did you summon me like that,” he whined, “Don’t you know how fragile I am?”
“This is your fault Asmo.”
“Aw, don’t be like that Solomon,” he looked at me, “You don’t think it’s my fault, right?"
“I don’t think you’d like my answer,” I replied.
“Why do you keep dodging my questions?”
“Because it’s not worth making you upset.”
He suddenly got closer and stared deeply into my eyes, while his gained a faint glow. His voice changed, the tone was the same, but it seemed to ooze, dampening the ambient noise of the labyrinth, “C’mon, don’t you just love this face? You wouldn’t say anything to make this upset.”
“What are you doing?”
“Asmo, that’s enough,” Solomon intervened, “Now’s not the time for that.”
Asmo pouted but relented. Giving me space as we searched for the others. At some point I noticed something odd.
“Hey,” I said, “What’s that sound?”
“I don’t know,” Solomon listened, “but it’s getting closer.”
Asmo put his hand to his ear, “I think I hear screaming too.”
Suddenly around a corner, a ways ahead of us, came the other being chased by a giant snake. What the fuck, dude.
“Solomon you can do something right,” Asmo grabbed him in a panic.
Solomon shook his head, “Unfortunately, no. We’ll have to them in running away.”
“My tiny ass legs ain’t made for this,” I complained, turning on my heels. We all booked it but I was significantly shorter than them so I had a hard time keeping up. Beel grabbed me as he passed by, carrying me until we got to a cell block. The entry door was much too small for the snake to get through so we were able to catch our breaths. But, this was a dead end. We would have to eventually go out and face the snake again.
“Where did Diavolo even find a snake like that,” Mammon panted.
“I know,” Asmo whined, “Snakes are so gross and that one is huge! Ugh, my hair is all ruined.”
“It’s Henry 1.0,” Levi stated matter-of-factly.
“Wait 1.0,” I asked, “Is that why Henry and the house is 2.0?”
“Yeah, all of his pets are named after Henry,” Mammon explained, “And why are you still holding Drizzm, Beel?”
“Because I want to,” Beel replied simply, but he still put me down.
“Why is Henry 1.0 here,” I questioned.
“Are ya even sure it’s him,” Mammon added.
“Of course I know it’s him,” Levi snapped, “One day he just left while I was at school. I had no idea he was here! He looks so healthy. I’m so happy!”
“Henry 1.0 did seem to remember ya, though.”
“Well, it’s been a long time. I’m not that surprised.”
“I don’t care,” whined Asmo, “Someone just make the snake leave! All this stress is bad for my skin.”
Solomon piped up, “I actually have idea. I can use my magic to amplify Asmo’s charming ability.”
“Well, not like we have many options,” I motioned for him to do his thing. Amso didn’t really want to but we reminded him that this was, once again, his fault. So, through grumbles and complaints, Solomon was able to amplify Asmo’s power by chanting a different incantation.
Thankfully it worked like a charm, heh. Asmo managed to charm Henry 1.0 and convince him to lead us out of the labyrinth. We happily followed him out, coming out in a remote part of the garden outside the castle. Much to Beel’s delight we made it back in time for dinner. Diavolo found the entire situation very amusing. He’s so light-hearted and personable for a prince. Not that I’ve ever met a prince before him.
“Certainly sounds like you all had fun,” he almost sounded jealous that we got to have an adventure, “Though, I must admit I was surprised by you, Drizzm. That was quite the fiery side we saw.”
“Yeahhh,” I sighed, “I told you I’ve been keeping myself in check. But I think that situation was quite abnormal, no?”
“True, but that seemed to come so naturally. Including that phrase you said.”
“That’s how I normally speak, yeah. Quite a lot of slang.”
“He knows more slang than I do,” Levi said in a jokingly sad manner, “even a normie known more than me. Must be nice knowing so much.”
That phrase had kinda become an inside joke between us, “Quit slackin’ and get on my level the. I can’t wait to have someone to speak in memes to.”
“What did you say to Mammon before getting transported,” Diavolo inquired.
“Oh, you mean ‘Support deez nuts?’,” I laughed, “Yeah, that was a pretty good use of that meme.”
“I don’t get it.”
“The meme is just the words ‘deez nuts’. Like these nuts but D-E-E-Z. So, plainly, ‘Support these nuts. But said funny I guess.”
“What does it mean, though?”
“Is nuts not used as a slang for testicles here?”
Lucifer about choked on his food.
“You okay Lucifer,” I asked worriedly.
“That’s not appropriate,” he scolded, taking a drink.
“He asked,” I defended myself, “Am I supposed to just ignore him?”
Diavolo was silent as he processed everything I told him. Then burst out in a booming, belly laugh, “S-so -hehe- So, you told Mammon -haha- to support your testicles -wheeze- in response to saying you’re moral support?” He kept giggling.
“Yes.” Another laughing fit, he was crying with laughter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone find a ‘deez nuts’ joke so funny. He’s so precious. Barbatos sighed, “The Young Master appears to be enjoying himself.”
Diavolo could hardly breathe, “B-b-but you don’t -haha- you don’t even HAVE nuts!”
More laughing.
“Is he gonna be okay,” I asked, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him laugh that hard. Nor anyone find it that funny.”
“Just ignore him,” Lucifer deadpanned, this doesn’t seem to be his first rodeo. We finished up dinner, with Diavolo periodically giggling for the rest of the night. Poor Lucifer is going to be so tired of that joke by tomorrow. He’s probably already tired of it. Sucks to suck Lucifer. Back in our room we were all winding down for the night. I was sitting on my bed drawing, Simeon was at the table reading, and Asmo was yapping away.
“So, Drizzm,” Asmo got close to me, “Ready to tell me?”
“Tell you what,” I genuinely asked.
“If there’s anyone who doesn’t love me?!”
I sighed, I didn’t wanna do this, “How do you define love?”
“Huh? When you can’t get enough of me, of course! Doesn’t have to be romantic, I’m an idol to many you know,” he blew a kiss and winked. I blinked.
“You are the Avatar of Lust, so I guess that makes sense.”
“Well?! Don’t keep me waiting!”
I shifted uncomfortably. Now’s a good a time as any I suppose, “Well, right now I consider myself in the non-love camp. You’re fun enough to be around so I like you. But like a friend, you know? I’m asexual so I’ve got literally negative interest in sex and lust. You must have been able to sense that, right?”
He got upset, “What do you mean? O-of course I could tell! But everyone loves me!”
“Why are you so upset?”
“Because you said you didn’t love me!”
“I’ve known you for, like, what? 3 weeks? I don’t love anyone here yet. Way too early for that.”
“That’s a lie!”
“Excuse you?”
“I’ve seen the way you look at Lucifer!”
“HUH?!” I had no words, except, “The fuck you mean? That dude wants nothing more than to waterboard me. I find him fun to tease, that’s all.”
“Yeah, you tell him, Drizzm,” Mammon appeared at our door, “You obviously only have sights for the Great Mammon.”
“What are you doing here,” I asked, spying the pillow under his arm. He whipped the pillow out.
“A pillow fight, of course! I dodged that idiot Lucifer and now we’re gonna party all night!”
“Why don’t you come party in my room then,” it was Lucifer’s turn to appear. Right behind Mammon, who screamed. “I’m sure Lord Diavolo would love the company.”
He said it nicely but he literally dragged Mammon by the collar.
“RIP bozo,” I said. Thankfully that distracted Asmo’s train of thought and we were back to our normal conversations. I put my art down and began repainting my nails. I wanted them to look good for the dance the next evening. It was a dark blue polish with silver sparkles that remind me of stars.
Before long Asmo announced bedtime. It was still super early for me to sleep so I made sure to sit at the table with my tablet screen away from them. Simeon stayed awake for a few hours after Asmo, who apparently needs like 12 hours of sleep. He offered to send me to sleep with his powers. I really hadn’t done much sleeping so I was happy he could do such a thing.